To have a Dream...

Is it important to have a Dream? What if you don’t have a Dream at all, or maybe don’t have it any more?

I will be blunt: if there is no Dream, there is no particular interest or purpose in life. This could be very, very painful, mentally and physically.

Having a mere ‘purpose’ at home/family is one thing; having a Dream, something you are going for with all your might, is dramatically different.

I know one person who has a definite purpose in life – serving her family: she is a stay at home wife, she cleans, cooks, looks after her grown up son and her husband. By the way, the son and the husband have their lives and Dreams. They work and they study, and they know where they’re going. They come home to eat and sleep. 

She does not have any dreams, at all. Her life is empty and painful. Don’t get me wrong: she does enjoy serving her family. The problem is in a different area: no future, nothing to long for, beside the non-stop house duties. She does not have a job and she never will because out of her 40 years of life she worked only for 2 years. So the experience is simply not there. 

She has always been waiting for the right moment to start studying, to go back to work: but first she had to raise her child, then she had to look after her disabled mother, then she was too sad because her mother had passed away, and then it was too late because she turned 40 (!!!! Really? Is 40 too late?)  I will call this person Elaine.

There is another person whom I see at kids’ school every week. She is a young lady of approximately 30 years old. A few years ago, through a horrific car accident, she had lost the ability to talk, walk or look after herself. She was physically in pieces. Doctors have put her back together. For some period of time she didn’t have a luxury of expressing herself anymore, or walking around freely, or doing anything a typical 30-year-old would do. However, there was something extremely important that she managed to keep: belief in herself, desire for life, necessity to Dream. I would call this person Hannah.

Now, Elaine does not have any physical disabilities. She blames her upbringing for not being able to work, for not earning, for being bored and depressed, for not wanting anything in life. She explains that she is emotionally crippled by her mother who always would do things better, quicker. No matter how many times we talked about leaving the past behind, about becoming stronger and taking little steps towards richer (emotionally) life – the answer is always the same: ‘There is no way out’. She’s got no dream to go for, no desire to change.

Hannah has started slowly after her accident: she first realised what is important for her in life and why. It was extremely painful. In her wheelchair she would get into a junior school every week. Few months later - on crutches. Then walking by herself, with some help of her mother at times.

She trained her tongue again and again to speak, to roll again. She trained her brain by taking an initiative and helping the little kids to do their Maths and English. She would get very tired, it was not easy, let’s face it. But she always knew where she is heading to, and why. That is exactly what helped her to overcome lots of her pain and doubt. She had a dream of gaining her normal life back. She had the Dream. She still has it. She’s still going for it, strong.

The change – whatever you might desire in life – comes from within. It starts from realization: what do you want to achieve and why. You need to be able to look at yourself and your actions from a different perspective. Who are you? What are you capable of? Where are you today and why? What could be done today to start your change?

Design a plan for yourself: without a plan you simply won’t know where you are heading to. Then take small steps, which probably won’t be easy at first. But you will, surely, get through those little ‘obstacles’! You need to believe in yourself, and not to resort to typical and prosaic beating yourself up with something like “I’m useless, I won’t succeed, there is no point in trying.”

I have created an excellent plan how to make your Dream happen (if you have one, of course!). I will talk about it next week in my post.